A little humour
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
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IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
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IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
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Baptizing A Drunk
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a
preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and
subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost
overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, " Are you ready to
find Jesus?"
"Yes I am" replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the
river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found
Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, I haven't." The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks
him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of
the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"
The drunk again answers, " No, I have not found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water
again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds. When the drunk
begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks
the drunk again, " For the love of God, have you found Jesus?" The drunk wipes
his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, ......... "Are you
sure this is where he fell in?"
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The police received a call from the convent about a strange object flying
overhead. When the officer arrived, he spoke with the Mother Superior. “What
kind of object was it,” he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “But would you
like me to ask Sister Theresa? She knows exactly what it was.” “That’s OK,” said
the officer. “I’ll just list it as a nun-identified flying object.”