Humour
Catholic guy goes into the confessional box. He notices on one side a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting these days." The priest replies "Get out. You're on my side."
♥♥♥ A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, “don’t pay for me Daddy I’m under five.”
♥♥♥ Little Johnny asked his Grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, “39 and holding”. Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, “and how old would you be if you let go?”
♥♥♥ Pastor's Business Card A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis 3:10.' Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.' Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'
♥♥♥ The Importance of walking ….. The only reason I would take up walking - Is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I have to walk early in the morning, Before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there. Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
I do have flabby thighs, But fortunately my stomach covers them. I like long walks, Especially when they are taken By people who annoy me. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, Start with a small country.
I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,......Just getting over the hill. We all get heavier as we get older, Because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
♥♥♥ If God sends you down a stony path, may he give you strong shoes. Have a great summer, good health and safe traveling!